First 3 steps that will set you free from fighting the wrong battle

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We often navigate through life unaware that we are fighting battles that are actually not ours and the reason is likely to be lack of awareness or that we are trying to avoid dealing with our own monsters.


I spent years of my life overloading myself with work and academics. I was unaware that I really wasn’t  working towards satisfying my real desires, but rather was driven by some of my fears to keep going.

I wanted to secure my future and have a “good job” that would allow me to satisfy the ideals of what society seems to impose on us. The worst part was that I was doing it by neglecting my present and forgetting about my other passions such as travelling or making real connections. Of course, I had a lot to work on when it came to those other areas too, as they were also full of their own demons. I chose the safest option.

I was oblivious to what was happening. I thought I was doing what I had to do, and it did not end up very well.Something needed to happen, so I could become consciously aware.

Let’s prevent this from occurring to you.

Lack of awareness, avoiding our fears and not taking action driven by our values can make us prisoners of others’ intentions, objectives or goals.

Step 1. Awareness

If we are un aware of what we want, we may end up drifting away without knowing where exactly our ship is headed. Even scarier, we end up exhausted along the way by spending time and energy doing things that are not what we really want to do. No wonder we then feel dissatisfied with some of our achievements in life. 

Becoming aware is the first step to choosing direction and to making a decision that you feel solid about.

Discover what you do not want and what you really want.

Dare to dream and you will be able to analyse and compare if you are in the right place and working towards the right path for you at this point in your life.

To help you with this I have developed a 5-day challenge that I will be announcing to my community very soon.

However, I also wanted to share with you an activity which will help you with raising your awareness of what is really important to you. It is one of the habits that Stephen R. Covey names in his book, The 7 habits of highly effective people. Begin with the end in mind. You can download the activity here.

If you already know what you want:

  • What is it?

  • What does it look like?

  • How do you feel when you imagine yourself in that position?


Step 2. Befriend your fears

On the other hand, you might have become well aware of what you want. You have a clear picture in your head of how it looks and feels like. However, the ‘what ifs’ and thousands of doubts start cropping up, telling you that it is impossible to get there, that you are not capable or good enough.

Unhelpful beliefs and fears are behind those thoughts. They will be there every time you step out of your comfort zone. They will come up when you want to take control of the steering wheel to keep living life in a purposeful way, driven by your values, working towards what is important to you.

So, what to do with them?

Bear in mind your fears have no power to physically harm you. They can only stop you, if you allow them to do so.

With this is mind, instead of avoiding them, why not invite them to your home and get to know them a bit better?

You will realise that most of them are exaggerations with no evidence that backs them up. Ask yourself:

  • What evidence do I have of this being real?

  • What are the probabilities of this happening?

  • What is the best thing that could happen?

Other fears might have some reasonable arguments behind and will not vanish easily. In this case, sit with them, listen to what they have to say and negotiate with them.

There must be other ways for you to keep walking towards your dreams while making sure some of your fears can rest assured you are doing your best.

  • What can you do that is halfway between what your fear argues and what you want?

  • What can you do to help your fear feel a bit more at ease?


Step 3. Take action by being proactive

You have become aware and you know your fears. It is time to take action.

You now have the choice.

You can stay where you are, drifting away, with the mission to avoid your monsters and never feel truly fulfilled, or you can start to plan how you are going to take the next step.

Don’t feel pressured. You do not have to do it all at once, and you don’t have to do it on your own.

  • What 3 simple steps could you take towards your dream?

  • What support do you need?

It is time to be proactive. You can do something about your current circumstances. Do not wait for something to happen, or someone else to fix it. Start planning, look for alternatives, and try to focus on solutions instead of problems.


Start being true to yourself, be honest, have a look at what YOU want. Become aware.  

Enjoy your trip, as you know that each decision has not been based on you fears, but on your values.

Be courageous enough to pursue what you deeply know will make your heart sing. Take action.

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::If you want to know more about how to focus on what you want achieve and keep developing with confidence join the Awakenings Community here::

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